The Striving Circle – A User’s Guide.
Rob and I had a laugh fest this morning, one of those spontaneous eruptions where we just fly with something for a while because it’s so dang funny. Today’s comedy was about striving. Read on. It’s fun, I promise.
We named it the Striving Circle. I know all about this prestigious club, because I’m a former gold star member myself. I used to be in a constant state of dizziness and weariness from continual efforting and trying. It’s a treadmill kind of trying, but without the benefits of exercise! Are you a gold star member of the Striving Circle, too? Or maybe a lifetime honoree? Check this out to see if you’re living life by accomplishment:
The Rules of Life by Striving and Efforting:
- Whatever you do, don’t stop trying!
- Keep working, you’re not there yet! You need to ARRIVE. Never mind that arrival is always out of reach, just like those swimming teachers who kept backing up in the pool when you were little (cheating liars!). So whatever you do, keep going! More work for you!
- Your accomplishment quota is anemic. You need to do more. Lots more.
- Can’t you carry more? Burdens and responsibilities, perhaps? Are you even using both of your arms?
- Why not just get a bigger shovel so you can do more at one time, and work harder for the same pay and non-recognition? Have you thought about a wheelbarrow?
- I don’t think you’ve put in enough effort. Keep efforting! More is required to get you where you aren’t going.
- If you just try harder, you can accomplish the same amount, and bonus! – you can feel worse while doing it. Double bonus: you’ll also have reasons to complain to others! Martyrdom points!
- You’re not doing enough to get around that circle you’ve been in. It goes on forever remember? Just keep trying, you won’t get there eventually. You’re right on course to never arrive!
How does all of that feel? BLEAH, right? And how often do you actually do it, i.e. think you need to get something done, become something better, or work harder to be a better you? Maybe a lot? Take a deep breath. Oof.
Guess what? It’s never been real, this striving and accomplishing thing. Because you are it all, and you’ve always been it all. The striving circle is insane because the rules are broken.The very way we’re taught to “arrive” and “be enough” doesn’t exist. There is no “there” there. And there’s no getting there from here, because there’s only ever here. Wild, huh?
So, some alternatives, thank God.
Breathe. Step out of the circle. It’s optional and not required.
You are it all. Say that to yourself three times: “I am it all.”
Breathing is arriving.
Getting there is being here. Say that to yourself three times, too.
You are everything you want to be and everywhere you want to go. Let’s say that one, too. “I am everything I want, and everywhere I want to go is here.”
It’s you. It’s always been you.
And apparently you’ll wait for yourself forever, just to arrive where you’ve always been. Because you’re spectacularly beautiful, brilliant, interesting, and infinitely worth it.
Loving you infinitely –